My Dad

My life was going pretty good....I received news that my children and I were approved for a new house from Habitat For Humanity!!! I was so excited. Everything with school was going good. I was finally getting a new routine down so that I can juggle classes, work and home responsibilities. Then on Friday, September 19, 2008, my kids and I had just gotten home from work/school. I was in the processes of cleaning up the mess the kids made of their dinners when I looked out of the front door and saw my dad's truck sitting out in the driveway. My kids were excited to see him. I opened the front door as he was getting out of his truck and let Kylia greet him on the sidewalk. He picked her up and brought her in the house. That's when Calen came running to him with his arms up and a big grin. My dad went to sit on the couch and my kids just climbed all over him. They are crazy about Big Daddy. I could tell something wasn't right. He didn't talk much except to the kids. I was telling him about things that had been going on lately, and he didn't seem to really pay attention or be excited. I just figured that maybe he and his girlfriend were having a problem. I didn't want to be nosey so I didn't ask what was wrong. Then he said, "Kisha I've got something I need to tell you".


My first thought was it was going to be news about my Big Mama. She's been sick lately. But it wasn't her. The news was about himself. He leaned back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. Then he looked over at me. His eyes were red. He told me that he is going to have to go to Birmingham and have one of his kidneys removed. I asked why? I thought it was due to his diabetes. He said it's cancer. A mass was found on his kidney and they want to remove the entire organ.

The devil is working so hard to knock me down and he has pushed a button. My dad and I are very close. Everything I know and all that I am is because of him. God blessed me with an awesome dad, and I can't picture life without him. I feel like a little kid. My heart is broken, but at the same time, something tells me that my dad will be just fine.

On a great note, on the same date mentioned above, my baby sis had her baby that night. My
dad, bro-in-law, baby sis and I all made a bet what we thought the sex of the baby was. My dad got it right...I'm the proud aunt of a new baby niece named Avery Grace Jones. 7lbs 7oz. She had to be sent to Huntsville Hospital due to breathing abnormalities, but nothing to be alarmed about. My baby sis doesn't know about my dad yet. We're waiting on Grace to come home and for Meka to get better before we tell her.

After my dad told me the news, he got ready to leave. The moment was awkward. I stayed strong for him. I didn't cry. I talked to him and assured him that he will be taken care of and I will be right there. As he walked down the sidewalk to his truck I just stood in the doorway with the kids and we watched him. I started imagining life without him. Then all of a sudden a flood of childhood memories came rushing back of moments with my dad. They were all moments that he taught me something. It took 34 years for me to realize that the superman in my life is simply human. He walked down the sidewalk with a little bit of a limp and he was leaning just a little. I could tell he was in pain. Then I thought of taking the easy road and letting myself be mad at God for letting this befall such a wonderful man. But I didn't do that. I continue with praise. I watched him get in his truck and drive away with my daughter in my arms. She was waving at him. He waved back and disappeared past the building next door. Then I broke down...

I still give God all the praise and thanks. He has brought me through many things and He will bless my dad and my entire family with the strength we need to make it through to the other side of this storm.

I love my daddy. He's my best friend.

Good News

On Saturday, September 13, 2008 my son screamed "MAMA"........when he did I answered "What!?". I could have fallen over.....he didn't answer. He was just yelling it.

The trip to Birmingham was pretty good. The doc said for me to get down to his level. Get on the floor and play with him letting him lead in the activities. Copy things that he does. Whatever he plays with, I play with it too. What ever faces and sounds he makes, I make them too. That lets him know that it's more fun to interact than to play alone. I can tell a huge difference in doing the therapy. He is so much more sociable at home and school. Kylia and I would sit at the foot of the bed and watch TV together at bedtime. We sang songs and she would ask me "What's that?" about 1,000 times. I would try to get Calen to join us but he never would. Then after my first day of doing the play therapy with him (all day) he actually crawled down to the foot of the bed and joined us!!! I cried...
Along with this play therapy, I have increased his oral B-12 from one drop to 0.25mL (I think it says mL) since reading that B-12 doesn't have a toxicity level. I also got Dr. Huffman-Parker to write out a prescription for occupational therapy which he now receives through the school system. With all these changes came some new changes in Calen...

His eye contact has increased tremendously. He turns to face me when his name is called. He sometimes follows my finger when I point at something. He picks up on songs very quickly. His teacher and I figured out that he learns through song. She sang a color song to him that she made up. She sings about different colors. She said that when she asked him to point at the red bear, he pointed at the correct color about 40% of the time.....the whole time they were singing and humming. He hums everything. I was blown away. His social interaction has greatly increased. I've taught him how to hug...now I get some of the sweetest little hugs from my baby....I can't type anymore...tears are streaming
PRAISE GOD..........PRAISE GOD

Updates

I haven't been able to write in a long time. I've been very busy with work, school, kids...you name it.

Calen's doing good in school. I'm not feeling satisfied right now for some reason. I don't know what my problem is. I'm still pushing for ABA therapy. Lisa Highfield will be out of her office for the next few weeks due to surgery. Her replacement called this morning and I spoke with her about the ABA therapy. I wanted to know if Mrs. Highfield spoke with Brandy from Behavioral Intervention Services in Huntsville and if so, what was said. If she decided not to get someone in for this, then I want her to tell me why. My next step is finding an advocate and approaching the school board. After that (as long as this doesn't take too long) I will try to get him into Handy Headstart in Florence until I can have an IEP meeting with one of the schools in Huntsville or Madison and get my child to the ABA center through the system there.

Calen made 2 attempts to talk. He tried to say "mama" by saying "mmmmaaaaa" and when I gave him his shoes to put on, he said "shhhh". He was trying to say shoe. He picks up on the songs quickly at school. He hums them all the time. The teacher said she was working with him on colors. She said he would pick the correct color about 40% of the time when asked. I was blown away!!!!! The funny thing is that he was picking up on it while she was SINGING IT TO HIM!!!! She's going to work with me on her teaching techniques so I can work with him at home. I've also got Dr. Huffman-Parker to write a prescription for Occupational therapy so he can receive it through the school. It was faxed this morning.

He started the nystatin a couple of weeks ago. He just finished going through the "die-off" process. It was hell on him. He had diarrhea from Thursday to Sunday. He vomited twice, and refused to eat. I came close to taking him to the hospital when he vomited in the middle of the night, but he went right back to sleep. I decided to wait for morning and if he didn't improve, I was calling Dr. Kalb and taking him to the hospital. He was a little better the next morning. I made him some gf/cf banana bread muffins. After he ate a couple of those, he perked up and began to play. After that, he slowly regained his appetite and his poop was better. He was having very watery bowel movements every 15 minutes! Thank God, he is all better. I would not let up off the medicine though. We just kept going. Praise God.

Kylia will be 2 years old next Monday (Sept. 8). I can't believe my baby is going to be 2! It seems like yesterday I was getting ready to have her. Her birth was a scheduled C-section. I remember I came to ECM and waited in the Radiology waiting area. I was reading the Times Daily about a body being found in a corn field when they called me back for my amniocentesis. I was looking at some videos I took of the kids a year ago. Time flies!!! With tears streaming I watched those videos and was amazed at how much they have grown and changed. Now, she is mommy's helper. She brings me diapers when she wants to be changed. She's always saying "cookie?" and asking "What's that?". Every 2 minutes, I'm hearing "MOMMY!!". I sometimes feel like I'm going to go crazy, but I can't help but love it. That is such a sweet sound hearing my child call me mommy. One day, Calen passed gas. It was pretty loud. Kylia looked at me with a look of disgust and yelled "EWWWWW.....it stinks!" I thought I would die laughing!! LOL Anyway, I ordered Kylia's birthday cake mix from allergyfoods.com so that Calen can eat, too. It's a chocolate cake. I don't know what I'm going to do about frosting just yet. I know some can be made from powdered sugar. I will find out something. Her party will be small. I have so much on me that any little extra thing is pretty much a hassle. I'm thinking chips and apple juice and chocolate cake for the menu. I can't invite too many since I can't afford much. It will be nice to have family over though. I don't have enough chairs for people to sit. I don't really have anywhere for the kids to sit either.

As for the lining up of the remotes I mentioned earlier, I haven't seen him do that anymore. I informed his teacher, as well as Dr. Griffith. Our appointment with Dr. Griffith is this Friday. I will try to blog more often, if I can.

School for me is going great. I'm so excited! I've had a few stumbling blocks. For example, my English book is out of stock, so I'm missing deadlines left and right for my class. I informed my teacher so she knows what's going on. My math class has tests that must be proctored, so I will contact Mr. Thompson from NWSCC and see if he can help me out.

Improving Social Interaction

This is Calen's first full week of preschool and I have to say I am pretty pleased. Calen's teacher takes her time to fill out a sheet about Calen's behavior during each activity of the day. I know exactly what type of day he had and what he did. She even brought a digital camera and took photos of Calen during one of his attempts at social interaction with one his friends named Ava. She really is a sweet, kind, gentle person....she is perfect for working with little kids. I'm glad to have her as my son's teacher. As for his social interaction, his teacher told me that while on the swings, he was swinging next to a little girl in his class. She would look over at him and laugh...and he did the same thing!!!! He would look over at her and just giggle!!!! His eye contact has improved a great deal. He also turns to look at you when you call his name! I'm so excited and proud of the progress my baby is making. I've also received a report saying that the temper tantrums have decreased dramatically. At first, he would have a meltdown when it was time to change activities such as coming in from the playground. They would have to pick him up and carry him inside the school building. Now, he walks with the class back inside when playground time is over. As for lining things up, I haven't seen him do that anymore. I've been watching closely. Calen's teacher (Mrs. Herrmann) told me that they don't strap him in the chair for circle time anymore. One of the para-professionals sit with him and helps him to stay focused on the activities. She says that sometimes he is just too full of energy and wants to get up and kinda roam around never leaving the circle (an improvement because before he would leave the circle and go off and play by himself) and so they have to put him in his favorite chair, but that isn't too often. He's even started humming one of the songs they sing about colors. It's a song I've never heard, but Calen picked it right up and started humming it. GOD IS WORKING ON MY BABY!!! I TOLD YOU THIS WON'T CRIPPLE MY SON....I CLAIM VICTORY FOR CALEN AND GIVE GOD THE PRAISE FOR IT!!!!!!

A New Behavior

On Wednesday evening, I noticed Calen concentrating on the TV remotes. At first he was banging them together which not out of the ordinary. Then, I noticed he would lay them down end-to-end. Then he would bend over and then squat as if he was checking something. Then he would stand back up and adjust the remotes......HE WAS LINING THEM UP. My heart was broken. This was something that he had never done before. He was working so hard trying to line them up perfectly. I sat there and watched him with tears streaming. Today, I called Dr. Elizabeth Griffith. She is the psychologist from the UAB Sparks Clinic in Birmingham that diagnosed Calen this year with autism. She asked if he had lost any of his skills, and the answer was no. She asked if there were any other new behaviors and I told her yes...he's biting himself and showing strong preference for tight, closed-in places. She said these behaviors usually manifest themselves around 3 and 4 years of age. It's just the course of the autism. She told me to watch him carefully to make sure he doesn't lose any skills. Losing skills is something to be afraid of. She asked about how things were going here, and I told her the lackluster help we've been getting. She made an appointment for September 5th at 10am for us to come to Sparks Clinics. She wants to see Calen and work with me on some things we can do at home to keep him engaged so he won't resort to those repetitive behaviors.

I went to pick Calen up today from his preschool. I talked with the teacher this morning while dropping him off about his vision. Calen is near-sighted and has astigmatism in both eyes. During circle time, he was strapped into his favorite chair and biting his fingers. His chair was OUTSIDE the circle. I talked to her about this and informed her of his vision problems. I stated that he would probably be more apt to pay attention if he could see and actually be IN the circle instead of outside it. When I picked him up this afternoon, he was in his favorite chair INSIDE the circle. That was all I asked....include Calen, too. Then there was another problem....he was in a great spot inside the circle, but he was allowed to play with a couple of strings of beads. He was now given something to distract him while the other children were singing and participating with the circle time activities! That defeated the whole purpose of my request!

Calen's First Day

Calen enjoyed his half-day of preschool on Aug. 11. He had a few tantrums when switching from one activity to the next. He also became upset at leaving because he had to put away toys. He found a string of purple beads that he kept running along the train tracks and making them go through the tunnel. He pitched a bit of a fit when having to put them away. I can see a little regression in his actions since May, but all I can say is I did the best I could to help him over the summer. If my application for a home from Habitat for Humanity is turned down, I will resume my quest to leave this area. I blame the lack of services for his regression. I feel that maybe if he had the proper help during the summer, he wouldn't be going through this. I don't know. I just want to make sure I'm doing my part as his mom before I go blaming someone else. I'm so sick of feeling powerless.

I bought some gluten-free muffin mix from Valley health food. I didn't have any dried fruit to put in it so I used McCormick's sugar cinnamon. It tasted pretty good! Calen loves them. It made about 22 muffins. Well...I didn't try to make muffins. They're more like cupcakes. I let the kids have a few while fresh from the oven. That bought the number down to 16. Now, I have the rest for reserve just for him so he can have 2 per day at school. I also purchased gluten-free baking mix. I plan to make him some banana bread using the recipe on the back of the box. I finally have the non-aluminum baking powder, so we're ready to roll. I just have to get some bananas. I know he misses the texture of breads.


I finally received an e-mail from Dr. Kalb, and a phone call from the Wellness Pharmacy in B-ham about Calen's Nyastatin. It's on its way. I've also contacted my children's dad, who is trying to get another job to send me money every pay period so I won't have to call and "ask" for it.

I've also got great news on other things going on. I applied for a home through Habitat for Humanity. They sent a nice couple out to take a look at my apartment. They also made a list of everything I reported wrong with the place. They said they would write up the report and turn it in. I'm not sure when to expect word. I'm pretty excited about the thought of paying a house payment instead of rent. How great it would be to be able to give something to my children...a place to grow up in and call "HOME". It will be hard on me to leave the apartment we're in now. I'm such a sentimental fool, but that was the place I bought my babies to when they were born. First steps, first words...first everything took place in our apartment. It will be so hard to let it go, but so wonderful at the same time. New memories will be made in our new house!!! I will have to work a total of 4oo "sweat equity" hours. 200 of those hours can be worked by friends/family. The other 2oo has to be worked by myself. Since I am a single person, 100 of my hours can be worked by another person I pick. I can work a few hours on a construction site helping to build other homes for families, and I can work in their thrift store. I don't feel comfortable asking other people to help work these hours, so I'm bracing myself to have to do all 400 alone. I will ask others to help, but I'm not doing it with expectations. Others have jobs and responsibilities and children just like I do. I can rely on myself if I have to. I just want to make sure someone is available to keep my kids while I work these hours.

I'm ready to start my classes with UA! At first, it wasn't looking too good. All the classes were closed! My sis, who attended UA before, told me to speak with the teachers and ask them to let me in. My advisor told me to take History, Math and English classes. I managed to snag the English class, but the rest were closed. I sent an e-mail to the History and Math teachers. The Math teacher, Mr. Zhijian Wu, told me "no problem" and let me in right away. I'm now signed up for MTH110 (Finite Mathematics). Will be in touch with Mr. T on that one! The other teacher, Mr. Jonathon Hooks, is "hesitant" about expanding his American Civilization Since 1865 class. He asked me to find other classes and if I can't, he would consider letting me in his class. I kept digging and found a class that sounded interesting...Principles of Human Geography with Jeffrey Richetto. I signed up for it. Now, it doesn't matter if I hear from Mr. Hooks. I will have 9 hours and I won't lose my financial aid. If I get good news from Mr. Hooks, I may drop the Human Geo. class since I don't think it would count toward my degree. I prefer to take the History class. My advisor told me that I had 60 hours transferred over from NWSCC. All I have left for my Bachelor's is 60 hours....I hope I didn't misunderstand because I'm in shock with that bit of news.

Parent Meeting

Yesterday was the parent orientation at Howell-Graves from 6pm to 8pm. My children and I were the 1st to arrive. I really didn't want to bring them, but I thought I'd like to see how Calen would react to this new classroom. Mrs. Herrmann told me the building was between the elementary school and the BOE building. I passed by it several times because I thought it was a storage building. I cannot believe that these kids will have class in this tiny storage shed of a building. Not to mention the lack of security...anyone could walk in. I HATE the new classroom. I plan to speak to Mrs. Highfield to see why these children are in this storage house and what are their plans for next year concerning a classroom. It's almost as is their "contagious" or something. I know there's a logical explanation for it, and boy would I like to hear it. Now, I wish it was still at Highland Park. I'm going to miss the walks Calen and I would take hand in hand down the long hallway to go get his breakfast. I would watch him as he walked down the hall taking in everything and everyone we passed. He was so cute as he looked at everything. Every now and then, he would look up at me. I could cry just thinking about it. Now the food will be brought to the children on a stupid cart.

Anyway, I couldn't stay for the meeting. It was a disaster having my kids there. Kylia pooped on herself and I came without diapers or wipes. Calen was overly tired and was misbehaving terribly. Then, the teacher passed out folder filled with paperwork for us to fill out and told us that we can fill it out anytime and get it back to her. I took it as though the meeting was about to begin but NOOOOO...she just stands there while the other parents fill out the paperwork right then. I'm growing more and more impatient thinking "She just said to get it back to her when we can. Why isn't she starting the meeting?" I asked her what she was going to cover because I had questions and I also wanted to know what the other parents had to say about things. Of course, I can't stay. My kids disrupted everything. I was beyond angry at my babies. I put them in the car and just drove around to calm myself down. I was tired, hungry and wanting to attend that meeting. Calen was the one that had me the most upset. He really showed out. His first half-day is on the 11th. I plan to turn in the paperwork and talk to her one on one (hopefully...if she has time). I may just have to try to catch her at home. I am very frustrated at the moment.