On June 10, 2008 I received a call from shoals preschool academy stating that Calen has had four episodes of diarrhea and he needs to be picked up. The one who contacted me is the owner's assistant names joanne. I asked why he had to be picked up and she stated that it was their policy. When I arrived, I asked to see the policy book, and of course, they could not find it. She claims to have checked his temp and he had a low-grade temp of 99. I asked for the thermometer to check it myself. With attitude, she brought me the thermometer, and sure enough, his temp had risen to 99.9. So I took him home. I let my daughter stay the rest of the day. I spent some one on one time with Calen. I took him to the park and let him swing, then we came home and I brought his bike that he got for Christmas outside and I pushed him all over the yard. When I went to the daycare to pick up my daughter, the owner sent his flunky joanne to ask me to stop by his office. I did. He claimed that after speaking with Elva Gardner (her last name is actually Garza) advised him that since Calen is a special-needs child and the daycare is just a general daycare and not equipped to deal with special needs children, care for Calen should be terminated. I asked him for the name and number to this worker so I can speak with her myself, and this man refused to give me her number. He said: "I was going to be nice and let Calen stay here a few extra days so that you can find somewhere else for him to go, but if you want to speak with her or the State about this then today will have to be Calen's last day." That let me know that he hasn't spoken with anyone about my son. He also stated that his staff was "too incompetent" to care for Calen. I was nice enough to inform several of his staff members of his comment. I called my good friend, Ashley, with Tuscumbia DHR. I left a message to request that she help me get Mrs. "Gardner's" phone number. I also contacted my supervisor at her home and told her the situation. I was unsure how long I was going to be off work due to this situation. I couldn't have asked for a more understanding supervisor. God knew what He was doing when He gave me this job.
Wednesday (the next day)
Ashley called me first thing this morning with the phone number and the correct name. I contacted Mrs. Garza's office right away and left a voice message. I also received a call from the Wee Care daycare with the United Cerebral Palsy Center. They only do a 6-week class during the summer and they pretty much follow city schools schedules. I may be able to get him in for the Fall for after school care. I contacted Lib Grissom with Just Kids. I've let my daughter stay there before. She runs a good clean daycare with very low employee turnover. Mrs. Grissom let me know that she had room for my babies, and they can start the next day. I also contacted the State and filed another complaint about how Calen was fed since they went against the doc's order's. That's a big no-no! I also let them know that my son was terminated by the owner. I stopped by shoals preschool academy again to pick up my children's stuff and to get the snake to sign transfer papers. He had the nerve to state "You're pulling Kylia out too, huh? That's a totally different attitude than yesterday." I stated, "I don't want my children to be cared for by an incompetent staff". With that being said he just mumbled "whatever" and walked out. I had to sign some papers stating that my children's care was being terminated. I put that care was terminated by the owner at the top of Calen's paper. I told the flunky to make me copies of these. She went into the snakes's office and he comes out and tells me that DHR will not allow him to make copies of papers to give to parents. When I called the state and asked was that true, she said that it's not true, but as long as the transfer papers were correctly filled out and signed then I shouldn't worry about it. He was just being difficult.
Thursday (today)
I took the kids to the new daycare this morning. Calen seemed to not mind exploring the new surroundings. The teachers seemed genuine about wanting to know about Calen's needs. Also, I ran into my baby sister, Tameka, dropping off her son Reese! We were glad to see each other. Kylia and Reese love to play together. They will be in the same class. I'm just concerned about Calen. I called to check on him and his teacher said he is doing fine. Mrs. Garza called me back. She let me know that she DID NOT talk to the snake (which I already knew). She is also working to get Calen in a daycare in Muscle Shoals that cares for special-needs kids. She is a wonderful lady. She is very nice and was surprised that the snake would lie on her like that. I'm hoping she contacts him to let him know that I found her. So far, things are going fine. The shoals preschool's owner is Ron Harden. He has lied about several things regarding the State's policies. There is no telling how many parents he has snowed with his crap. I would love to call him and say some ugly things to him, but God can handle him in a way that I can't so I will leave it all up to Him.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
No More Therapy
As of yesterday, June 5, 2008, the occupational therapist, Britta Hughes, told me that she feels Calen's not ready for structured therapy, and she is terminating his sessions. I was not surprised. After removing Calen from the distractions, he still intentionally dropped his toys on the floor, and did not cooperate with her. I agree with terminating the sessions with HER, but not with the statement "not ready for structured therapy". I plan on contacting his pediatrician today to see if there is another provider of speech and occupational therapies because as of now, he isn't receiving anything. One difference I noticed right away: when the sessions first began, an intern named Luke was working with Calen. Calen responded very well. The change in Calen's behavior didn't appear until Luke left. He graduated. I will see about finding Calen a male therapist. I actually feel a bit of relief due to high gas prices and having to leave work. The constant "go" has slacked some. But Britta was kind enough to give me her phone number and invite me to call her anytime to get ideas on activities we can do at home to work on his fine motor skills. I plan to do activities that include my daughter, and will emphasize turn-taking and sharing with each other. This can be a good thing actually. Britta was a bit impatient and never had kids. It's past time for her to retire. Luke was great and I wish he was Calen's regular therapist.
The battle continues with his daycare. I spoke with the owner yesterday on the phone. He is real piece of "work". He told me that he will call the State to find out some information about Calen being on the nutritional program. He stated that if it became too difficult to properly feed Calen, then the State would kick him off the food program, and I would have to provide all his meals. So I decided that he can't make a phone call that I can't make myself. I called the State's Daycare Division and again spoke with Mrs. Richards. She gave me the number to the Food Nutrition Division. There, I had the pleasure of speaking with Traci Person. She consulted her supervisor, James Peoples. I was informed that Calen will NOT be kicked off the program, and the daycare MUST comply with the doctor's note on Calen's file. The owner was concerned about reimbursement for Calen's meals (off all things to be concerned about when the whole thing is about my son's health). I was told that the daycare WILL be paid for his meals. She also was kind enough to fax information straight from the Minimum Standards guide concerning meals. I informed Mrs. Person that my son is autistic resulting in this diet and after noticing some improvement, the diet was endorsed by his pediatrician. What she sent to me was a huge help. When I dropped my babies off at the daycare, I made a sign for Calen's classroom door, and I made another with my phone number on it for the kitchen. Here's the kicker: a note I had made before was ALREADY UP in the kitchen. Well now they have 2 notes. Mrs. Person told me that if they mess up again or say that they cannot provide the indicated diet for Calen, that I should call back and let them know. That is considered a "deficiency". All this has to go on because of 2 dim-witted staff members and an owner who seems to only be concerned about getting paid. The owner was pushing for me to bring his snacks, and I refused. I told him to serve my son fruit. They had the nerve to say that they were concerned about him eating too much fruit. So I guess the crackers was supposed to be better??? I have a concern about my son eating too much junk food for snack if that's the case. But my point is this: a parent can decide to provide their child's meals but it must be in writing and included in the child's file. Had I just said "okay" to this idiot and provided meals and snacks, I would be paying out-of-pocket for his meals and the owner probably wouldn't even report it to the State. Therefore, he would still get paid for food he isn't serving!! Not to be graphic, but he can put his penis away because he is not screwing with me! LOL
Please check out the web site for the States Minimum Standards
www.dhr.state.al.us
check out page 30
The battle continues with his daycare. I spoke with the owner yesterday on the phone. He is real piece of "work". He told me that he will call the State to find out some information about Calen being on the nutritional program. He stated that if it became too difficult to properly feed Calen, then the State would kick him off the food program, and I would have to provide all his meals. So I decided that he can't make a phone call that I can't make myself. I called the State's Daycare Division and again spoke with Mrs. Richards. She gave me the number to the Food Nutrition Division. There, I had the pleasure of speaking with Traci Person. She consulted her supervisor, James Peoples. I was informed that Calen will NOT be kicked off the program, and the daycare MUST comply with the doctor's note on Calen's file. The owner was concerned about reimbursement for Calen's meals (off all things to be concerned about when the whole thing is about my son's health). I was told that the daycare WILL be paid for his meals. She also was kind enough to fax information straight from the Minimum Standards guide concerning meals. I informed Mrs. Person that my son is autistic resulting in this diet and after noticing some improvement, the diet was endorsed by his pediatrician. What she sent to me was a huge help. When I dropped my babies off at the daycare, I made a sign for Calen's classroom door, and I made another with my phone number on it for the kitchen. Here's the kicker: a note I had made before was ALREADY UP in the kitchen. Well now they have 2 notes. Mrs. Person told me that if they mess up again or say that they cannot provide the indicated diet for Calen, that I should call back and let them know. That is considered a "deficiency". All this has to go on because of 2 dim-witted staff members and an owner who seems to only be concerned about getting paid. The owner was pushing for me to bring his snacks, and I refused. I told him to serve my son fruit. They had the nerve to say that they were concerned about him eating too much fruit. So I guess the crackers was supposed to be better??? I have a concern about my son eating too much junk food for snack if that's the case. But my point is this: a parent can decide to provide their child's meals but it must be in writing and included in the child's file. Had I just said "okay" to this idiot and provided meals and snacks, I would be paying out-of-pocket for his meals and the owner probably wouldn't even report it to the State. Therefore, he would still get paid for food he isn't serving!! Not to be graphic, but he can put his penis away because he is not screwing with me! LOL
Please check out the web site for the States Minimum Standards
www.dhr.state.al.us
check out page 30
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Another daycare situation
Yesterday, I went to pick up my children from daycare. I was about an hour and a half early. Calen's class was out on the playground. When I stepped outside, Calen was nowhere to be found. The teacher was sitting on her butt talking on her cell phone. I yelled "Where is Calen?" She jumped up with a surprised look on her face and said "You're early." I just stood there looking for him. She went over to this little plastic house and pulled Calen out from behind it. He had dirt all around his mouth, all over his hands and down the front of his t-shirt. He had been eating dirt. I became extremely angry. What makes it worse is that the owner, Ron Harden, was out by the dumpster in full view of the situation. I began to fuss at the teacher for letting Calen out of her sight. She said she usually puts him in the swing (he loves to swing) but she didn't want him out in the sun because it was too hot. That's good, but that doesn't excuse her being on the phone. Her full attention should always be on the children! Especially when outside. I've talked with them about Calen before. So as I was pulling out of the driveway of the school, I was on the phone with the State's Daycare Division filing a formal complaint. I informed them of his diagnosis, her cell phone use, the fact that the owner witnessed the entire incident, and the fact that my baby has been allowed to eat so much dirt, that it shows up in his poop. I've found a daycare in Sheffield with the United Cerebral Palsy Center called "Wee Care". They work with children of all levels. I called and left a message. I hope to hear from them so I can find out what they're all about. I told the state worker (named Mrs. Richards) that the number of daycares around here (that are decent) are limited. Plus, I'm not the type to run. This staff will be made to do right, or I will be part of the blame for them being shut down by the State of Alabama....they can try me if they want.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Introducing my daughter and Calen's little sister, Kylia! She is 20 months old. She is my little sweetie, and tries so hard to be the boss. She surprises me at how quick and smart she is!! I've gotten so used to Calen NOT doing things that it shocks me when she does them. For example, verbal commands are no biggie for her. I can tell her to do something and she does it! Where the story is not quite the same for Calen. I'm trying to learn to treat them the same, but respect their individuality. That's not easy! I love being a mom, though. What a challenge.
Well, the doctor's visit in TN went well. He e-mailed me a plan for Calen. We're going to start with supplements. There are 6 different ones. One is a B-12 shot. I'm not at all comfortable with injections, so I replied and asked him to explain what each supplement does and to tell me if there is an alternative to injections for B-12. After the supplements are going good, we will start with treatments for yeast in the intestines. Then, we will see about what tests we should do to test for any toxins in the body, like mercury for example. We will go back on July 31. I also want to know if Medicaid will cover these supplements. He uses a pharmacy in Birmingham that caters to Autistic children/families. If I give him the green light, he will notify the pharmacy and they will ship the supplements. I just have to know will Medicaid cover this first. I'm not real clear on that subject.
Today is my relaxation day. I haven't had one in almost a year. I took the kids to school, called in sick, and stayed home. I found it hard to relax from the guilt I was feeling. I felt like I dumped my kids. I also feel guilty about lying to my boss. I miss my kids, but I have to force myself to relax. So what I did was after I dropped my kids off, I went to Joe Mugg's and got my favorite Mocha Frappe. I stopped at Jacks and picked up a wonderful breakfast, and drove straight home. I enjoyed a wonderful meal, still sipping the coffee, and just trying to relax. Funny how the mind doesn't want to let things go. The day is flying by, and I would like to enjoy the rest of it. I will be able to face tomorrow with a little strength I hope.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
This is Calen's school picture. He is so handsome.
Today, we had to attend Occupational Therapy. His therapist's name is Britta. She is a lady in her 60's and is talking about retiring. Personally, I think she's ready. I respect her because she's dealt with all types of kids over the years, but I don't think she understands my son (or maybe autistic children in general). When we come into the therapy room, there is a big contraption that swings, and Calen LOVES to get on it and swing. He runs directly to it. When I have to make him get off the swing and sit in a chair, he gets upset because he can't do what he wants to do. That's any child. When the session starts, he may toss a puzzle piece onto the floor rather than put it where it should go. This went on pretty much the whose session because not only is his attention span short, he's distracted by the swing. I suggested that we make a minor adjustment to the environment so that he never sees the swing. Her response is that "he is just doing this to control the situation and get his way." I was bothered by this accusation. I quickly let her know about his cognitive level, volunteered to bring her a copy of his Sparks report to help her better understand my son, and told her that we have to change his environment or we will never get anywhere because of the distractions. She says "the whole point is to do this therapy no matter what is around." I told her it doesn't work that way with my son. She changed her mind, and totally agreed. She even showed me some places we can go for the next session. I hope she saw that I won't be argued down when it comes to Calen. I still resent the accusation of his trying to control the environment. She may be right, and I just don't get it. This is my first child, and she's got years of experience dealing with children. I'm going to speak to some parents about how they handle discipline. I don't want to be the type of parent that takes up for her child when the child has done wrong. I need to do more research. Will tell what I find later.
Today, I hugged him and called him sweetie. He actually tried to say it!! I was shocked. I repeated sweetie 3 times and he made attempts to say it all three times! I am so proud!!! Not only that, I'm overflowing with hope!! Tomorrow is our trip to TN to see Dr. Kalb. I can't hardly wait to see what happens. Please get the word out...Dr. Daniel Kalb in Franklin, TN now accepts Alabama Medicaid! He is a DAN! doctor (Defeat Autism Now). I called his office and did a little talking and finally convinced them. It wasn't hard. I just explained that there are no such doctors in the entire state of AL. I also contacted AL medicaid in Montgomery, and they said all the doc had to do is accept AL medicaid!!
And even more wonderful news.....House Bill 150 passed today in a special session. The Alabama Autism Support Act will establish a permanent Council that will allow for greater support for individuals with Autism and Asperger Syndrome. I look forward to Governor Riley signining this importnat piece of legislation into law.
GOD IS MOVING MOUNTAINS
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Last Day of Preschool
Today is Calen's last day of preschool. Tomorrow is only a half day for the others that will be there. His schedule is Mon/Wed/Fri. On one hand, I'm glad because it will be a little relief for me as far as leaving work to pick him up and running back to work. I will miss that time we spend together, too. I enjoy that break in the day when I get to see my baby. On the other hand, I know how much he loves preschool, and I'm sad for him that he will be in daycare everyday. But it's only for the summer, and I'm hoping that we can get through the summer without any major problems (or small ones for that matter). I'm pretty exhausted.
This Fall will be 5 days a week at Howell-Graves. We go to see the DAN! doctor this Friday. (Defeat Autism Now) He's in Franklin, TN about 2 hours north of here. I have to get new tires for my car, and directions to the office. I'm excited about getting to see this doctor. I hope to see an improvement in Calen so he can focus better. I like how one parent I talked with put it...she called it a "fog". I, with the help of God and prayer, will pull him out of it so he can do better. I can't wait to get to know him for the first time...to find out his thoughts and feelings. Most of all, I can't wait to hear him call me "MOMMY". I've waited for 3 years. Pray for us.
This Fall will be 5 days a week at Howell-Graves. We go to see the DAN! doctor this Friday. (Defeat Autism Now) He's in Franklin, TN about 2 hours north of here. I have to get new tires for my car, and directions to the office. I'm excited about getting to see this doctor. I hope to see an improvement in Calen so he can focus better. I like how one parent I talked with put it...she called it a "fog". I, with the help of God and prayer, will pull him out of it so he can do better. I can't wait to get to know him for the first time...to find out his thoughts and feelings. Most of all, I can't wait to hear him call me "MOMMY". I've waited for 3 years. Pray for us.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Memorial Day Weekend
The hardest thing about this gf/cf diet is the constant watch over his food. We don't go out to eat, but when the opportunity comes, I prepare his meal at home and bring it with us. His meal usually consists of baked chicken or talapia, a veggie and fresh/canned fruit. I also bring his Juicy Juice. I prefer my children to drink 100% juice over sodas. A lot of people who aren't going through this experience first hand don't have a clue how hard it is to follow this diet. You pretty much have to be detailed-oriented because of the constant reading of labels. I'm still pretty new, so I bring along his 5 page list of things he cannot have. One parent I spoke with helped me a ton...don't focus so much on what he CAN'T have. Instead, focus on what he CAN have (whole foods - meat , veggies, fruit). Once I saw it like that, the diet became a lot easier. I still study the list so I can try to memorize things for him.
Well, the reason I'm going on about the diet is this: there are people out there who don't give a damn about what you may be trying to do for your child. On Memorial Day, I went to my baby sister's house to eat. There, I gave Calen his meal that I prepared at home. He cleaned his plate! I knew he was full because he ate a lot of food. My daughter and I only ate a little so we can have room to eat at their Grandmother's house (their absent father's mother). She tends to cook a huge meal and invites the entire family over. When we get there, she acts a little bothered that Calen can't eat any of the food. She knows about his diet. I've explained it to her twice. Well, while I'm in the living room talking, my son comes out of the kitchen with something white in his hand and it catches my eye. I asked what that is, and someone said "a slice of white bread". A SLICE OF BREAD....I yelled for them to take it from him, and they did. I jumped out of my chair to try to get that bite out of his mouth but he swallowed it. I looked at the bread and saw he had taken 2 bites. I asked who gave it to him, and Grandmother spoke up and said she did. She said she didn't know he couldn't have bread. I said that I was sitting in the next room and I should have been asked. The lack of concern and the looks of confusion as if I was making a mountain out of a molehill were amazing to me. This isn't some sort of "fad" diet that I'm trying out on him. This isn't a joke. I took my children and we left. When we got home, he started another crying episode. So I pulled out my cell phone and video taped my child. We're in the dark so you can't see anything. All you can hear is his painful cries. I typed a text message under the video telling them that this is what the bread does to him, and there isn't a damn thing I can do but sit here and watch my child suffer. I only hope the message hits home, although I'm not optimistic. Knowledge and compassion seems to escape these people. Needless to say, we won't be back over there for any food-related events, and while there, the children will be under my strict supervision. I could see if someone who didn't know he was on the diet gave him the bread. I wouldn't be this mad. It's the fact that the grandmother did it, and she KNEW he was on a restricted diet. It was as though she thinks I'm just doing this for the hell of it, and she was going to make sure he gets fed or something. I don't know, but that was just plain disrespect for me as his mother. I do the right thing and take my children to see their dad's family. Just because he was only half-raised doesn't mean I have to stoop to his level and keep other family members away. That wouldn't be fair to my children. But pulling stunts like this only makes things harder. If my rules concerning my children are disregarded, then my children will NEVER be left alone with any of them. On top of that, the visits will be decreased. She knows where we live. If she misses them that much, she can burn her own gas. I apologize to those who may be reading this...I'm just angry today. I actually feel better now that I've typed it out. I'm at work right now, and I miss my babies.
Well, the reason I'm going on about the diet is this: there are people out there who don't give a damn about what you may be trying to do for your child. On Memorial Day, I went to my baby sister's house to eat. There, I gave Calen his meal that I prepared at home. He cleaned his plate! I knew he was full because he ate a lot of food. My daughter and I only ate a little so we can have room to eat at their Grandmother's house (their absent father's mother). She tends to cook a huge meal and invites the entire family over. When we get there, she acts a little bothered that Calen can't eat any of the food. She knows about his diet. I've explained it to her twice. Well, while I'm in the living room talking, my son comes out of the kitchen with something white in his hand and it catches my eye. I asked what that is, and someone said "a slice of white bread". A SLICE OF BREAD....I yelled for them to take it from him, and they did. I jumped out of my chair to try to get that bite out of his mouth but he swallowed it. I looked at the bread and saw he had taken 2 bites. I asked who gave it to him, and Grandmother spoke up and said she did. She said she didn't know he couldn't have bread. I said that I was sitting in the next room and I should have been asked. The lack of concern and the looks of confusion as if I was making a mountain out of a molehill were amazing to me. This isn't some sort of "fad" diet that I'm trying out on him. This isn't a joke. I took my children and we left. When we got home, he started another crying episode. So I pulled out my cell phone and video taped my child. We're in the dark so you can't see anything. All you can hear is his painful cries. I typed a text message under the video telling them that this is what the bread does to him, and there isn't a damn thing I can do but sit here and watch my child suffer. I only hope the message hits home, although I'm not optimistic. Knowledge and compassion seems to escape these people. Needless to say, we won't be back over there for any food-related events, and while there, the children will be under my strict supervision. I could see if someone who didn't know he was on the diet gave him the bread. I wouldn't be this mad. It's the fact that the grandmother did it, and she KNEW he was on a restricted diet. It was as though she thinks I'm just doing this for the hell of it, and she was going to make sure he gets fed or something. I don't know, but that was just plain disrespect for me as his mother. I do the right thing and take my children to see their dad's family. Just because he was only half-raised doesn't mean I have to stoop to his level and keep other family members away. That wouldn't be fair to my children. But pulling stunts like this only makes things harder. If my rules concerning my children are disregarded, then my children will NEVER be left alone with any of them. On top of that, the visits will be decreased. She knows where we live. If she misses them that much, she can burn her own gas. I apologize to those who may be reading this...I'm just angry today. I actually feel better now that I've typed it out. I'm at work right now, and I miss my babies.
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